i want to apologize to all the women
i have called pretty.
before i’ve called them intelligent or brave.
i am sorry i made it sound as though
something as simple as what you’re born with
is the most you have to be proud of
when your spirit has crushed mountains
from now on i will say things like, you are resilient
or, you are extraordinary.
not because i don’t think you’re pretty.
but because you are so much more than that.
I’ve written on the topic of Comparison before (in this post about a year and a half ago), and I’m sad to report that I have not been able to shed those bad habits of comparing myself to others. It actually might’ve gotten worse with the constant algorithm changes Instagram instates. I am still using other people and the lives they lead (or the lives I think they leave on Instagram) as my thermometer for success. I am still measuring my worth by how many likes I get on Instagram and how many followers I have each day.
Typing it out in plain black and white text like that makes me realize how irrational, silly, and unhealthy this mindset really is.
I’ve been marinating on the words, “the success of others doesn’t take away from your own” and “empowered women empower women” these last few weeks.
It is SO hard not to be resentful sometimes when you see others’ highlight reels all over social media. It makes me start to wonder things like: Why haven’t we bought a house yet? Why aren’t we engaged? Why aren’t we married? Why don’t we have a cute dog? Why does she make more money than I do? Why does she get to travel to this place and that place and I don’t? Why aren’t we traveling more? Why does she get more likes on her photos than I do? — All of these questions are so silly because we are our own path. I need to remind myself that we are focusing on our careers before we even think about marriage. We’re not in a place (literally and metaphorically) to buy a house. Yeah, sure, a dog might be nice to have around, and sure, going on a couple more trips throughout the year would be amazing; but when I really do stop to think about it, I am pretty content with the home and life we’ve built together. (Even with that last sentence, I was about to add “even if we live in a 400-square-foot studio apartment,” but I had to stop myself. I love our home because it’s ours. And I love it because it’s a 400-square-foot studio apartment.)
When I got the message from Tiff wanting to collaborate, I was in a pretty dark place. Work has been pretty overwhelming as it usually is this of year. It’s just all been too much! But then I read her message and the story behind Velé and my spirits were instantly lifted.
Velé was started by Tiff and Lauren who met in a middle school sewing class. Years later they wanted to start a brand that didn’t just make beautiful items (and they are indeed beautiful!), but that also support ethical practices. According to their website, “Velé guarantees the artisans who handcraft every piece in Ubrique, Spain, fair living wages and dignity in their work. To further this vision, we’ve partnered with Not For Sale, an international non-profit investing in the future of those most vulnerable to exploitation through social business. 10% of every purchase supports their incredible work.”
On top of supporting artisans for their craft, Tiff and Lauren being the boss babes they are also wanted to empower women. They “were tired of the industry constantly throwing messages at women that they weren’t good enough; that if they only purchased this or that, they would suddenly find success or feel beautiful.” They want every single woman (of every size, color, and shape) to feel worthy and wanted. Every item they make has three words stitched on it: “you are wanted” to remind us because we all need that reminder every now and then.
The last six days since being first contacted by Tiff to receiving the Velé Cross-Body Clutch to shooting these photos to writing this post has been a whirlwind of emotions, but when I really stopped and thought about things I am grateful for, I was so much more present and happier. I am so lucky to have connected with Tiff and Lauren, especially at this time of my life. I will forever be grateful to work with brands, especially ones that have such an amazing mission statement.
So please remember: YOU ARE WORTHY. YOU ARE WANTED.
| note: thank you for supporting pleb life with the affiliate links below |
everlane soft cotton square crew, everlane boss boots, madewell ruffle-edge skirt in peacock feathers (sold out: similar), velé cross-body clutch, mejuri square open ring and boyfriend stacker ring, rayban round sunglasses